So, I test drove a Fiesta ST today...

"PanchoVilleneuve ST" (PanchoVilleneuve) 04/11/2014 at 17:11 • Filed to: Fiesta ST, Oh god Pancho are you feeling OK?

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...And I no longer want an FR-S.

Holy bananas this thing is fun. It drives like a kitten playing with a laser pointer. That's the best way to put it.

Watch this video. These are not cats. They are Fiesta STs. Ford has found a way to strap 4 wheels to bonkers.

The FR-S was fun, don't get me wrong, but it was fun in a very serious way. I know it was designed solely for tail-out hoonage, but there was this level of competence that made it seem somehow less involving. Less fun. Driving it feels like it is telling you "you are in a sports car, this is fun, kick the tail out. Wasn't that fun?"

"Yes," I reply, "I'm having lots of fun. But are you?"

And then the car yawns.

The FR-S was designed to be a sports car from the beginning, and it shows. The ST is an econobox they made fast with a buttload of power and some fancy suspension, and it also shows, but instead of being a bad thing, it's the whole charm of the car.

You know when a little kid wants to be taken seriously so they act like an adult, only the way they think adults are is totally wrong and they go waaaaayyyy overboard with committing to being all grown-up? You know how adorable and hilarious that is? That's what the Fiesta ST is like. It crosses its arms and stomps around going "I'm a real sports car I have three million horsepower and I'm faster than everything and I can do everything your car can do only better and I'm the coolest and you're all jealous".

It's fun. It's silly.

So, it looks like Oppo's resident diehard Japanese car nerd will be buying a German-engineered American car later this year. In Performance Blue, with Rado Gray wheels, moonroof and the non-Recaro seats. So look forward to dogs and cats living together and other forms of mass hysteria.

Brian Silvestro > PanchoVilleneuve ST 04/11/2014 at 17:14

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Yes! Another reassurance for my future car! I feel better for choosing it as my purchase this summer.

Battery Tender Unnecessary > PanchoVilleneuve ST 04/11/2014 at 17:19

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Sitting in a Ford dealer running the numbers as I type. Black, Recaros, Nav, Sunroom (which I could do without), grey wheels. We'll see how the numbers turn up.

Chris Clarke > PanchoVilleneuve ST 04/11/2014 at 17:20

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So what you're saying is you don't want oppositelock?

PS9 > Brian Silvestro 04/11/2014 at 17:20

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Herp dunno how yuo can pick a FWD ovar a tru RWD spertz car bro, derp't derp

Milky > PanchoVilleneuve ST 04/11/2014 at 17:22

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Wrong animal …

PS9 > Chris Clarke 04/11/2014 at 17:23

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Fiesta can into Oppositelock!

PanchoVilleneuve ST > Chris Clarke 04/11/2014 at 17:24

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I want lift-off oversteer and bonkers energy.

PanchoVilleneuve ST > PS9 04/11/2014 at 17:25

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Horp dorp FAIL WHEEL DRIVE BRO WHY YOU SMILIN BRO YOU CAN'T BE HAVIN FUN BRO WHY YOU GOIN SO FAST BRO

Brian Silvestro > PS9 04/11/2014 at 17:25

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derp ur a rer whl drive elitist derp't derp INTERNET

Chris Clarke > PanchoVilleneuve ST 04/11/2014 at 17:27

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liftoffoversteer.jalopnik.com just doesn't have the same ring.

PS9 > Battery Tender Unnecessary 04/11/2014 at 17:28

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Do...do you need a groundskeeper or something? Surely there must be some manual labor needing doing around your property that is beneath you. I can help in exchange for meager remuneration.

(I'm kidding. Kind of. Half-kidding. ...Not really.)

PanchoVilleneuve ST > PS9 04/11/2014 at 17:29

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Yeah it is almost as easy to get the tail out in one of these as it is in the FR-S. It's surprising, but I guess it makes sense considering the car brakes the inside wheel and it loves to cock a rear wheel like a Mk. 1 GTI, and the rapid rotation mixed with sudden loss of half of the rear's traction and a really stiff chassis means mofo gonna whip around.

PS9 > PanchoVilleneuve ST 04/11/2014 at 17:30

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misspost

PS9 > PanchoVilleneuve ST 04/11/2014 at 17:32

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Dont know about 'bonkers', but you can have all the monster you can drink!

PanchoVilleneuve ST > Chris Clarke 04/11/2014 at 17:32

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The quick steering and rate in which it changes direction makes the car feel like it would be perfect for the Scandinavian Flick, and when you write it in all-caps it looks like "Scandinavian Fuck" and that has a good ring to it.

PS9 > Milky 04/11/2014 at 17:34

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...but still has the right stuff.

Chris Clarke > PanchoVilleneuve ST 04/11/2014 at 17:40

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Well, when you put it that way. I think we have our new Jalopnik sub blog!

Milky > PS9 04/11/2014 at 17:49

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well I guess even flightless birds have their day too.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > PanchoVilleneuve ST 04/11/2014 at 18:09

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Mine is the same color but we got different options - I have the recaros, the moonroof, but left the wheels unpainted. It doesn't look different enough to justify the 400$ cost when I could just plasti-dip them white and make that purchase moot anyways.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Milky 04/11/2014 at 18:12

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Admit it. You want one. Go ahead. Trade in your mid 90s SLK or whatever that thing is based on and be one of us.......One of us. One of us. One of us. ONE OF US. ONE OF US. ONE OF US. ONE OF US. ONE OF US!

Milky > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 04/11/2014 at 18:32

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Ehh not my cup-of-tea. Not to mention my car costs less than half as much.

Quit hatin on my SLK bro

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Milky 04/11/2014 at 18:39

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My jetta costs like a tenth of what your SLK costs. It's still a pile of scrap metal that only kinda goes in a forward direction. Cheaper =/= better.

Milky > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 04/11/2014 at 18:53

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Lol, just saying its not as easy as swapping the 2 cars.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Battery Tender Unnecessary 04/11/2014 at 22:12

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Sunroom? Very fancy! Every hot hatch needs some potted plants.

Can we get a photo of your entire fleet once the i8 lands?

Sean Tucker > PanchoVilleneuve ST 04/15/2014 at 00:48

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I own one and can assure you this car is an absolute blast to drive in pretty much any condition. I'm coming from a tail happy rx-7 as well.